Our children are gently nudging us to slow down… and maybe that’s the point.
As I was getting my son, Charlie and dog Chance, ready to go for our morning walk, I noticed my thoughts were elsewhere - rapidly racing through an unrelated problem that caused emotions to rise up in me. I was jolted out of my thoughts realizing we were running behind and began hurrying Charlie out the door, “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” - only to be met with tears and frustration. Charlie was organizing some of his rocks that he wanted to take with him and when I attempted to scoot him along with a (not so) calm, “okay that’s the perfect one to take!” his response escalated.
Seeing his emotions escalate, I paused, pulled myself to the present moment, got down on the floor next to him, and asked him to show me what he needs. In this moment I saw that my internal emotional escalation was my own problem that I was now projecting on him by rushing him out the door “because we’re running behind.”
Charlie is two years old, he has no concept of time or that we’re even running behind —and the most important thing to him in that moment was which rocks to take with him on our walk. And that is a totally valid priority in his world.
Once I paused, I observed as Charlie took his time with great focus on which rocks were the most important to take, holding each one up to me saying, “Dat one, dat one.”
As cliché as it sounds, I have learned so much from my son in his short two years of life. I think the most important thing is the reminder to slow down and be present. I know that when I’m rushing to get out the door with Charlie, he picks up on that energy and is seemingly telling me through his emotional response to “slow down, mom!”
Time and time again I see this same pattern play out and am reminded every flipping time. What I’ve come to realize is that Charlie’s reactions are often a direct response to the energy I bring to the room — I am constantly a mirror for Charlie’s world. I am constantly reflecting energy and emotions, whether that’s my intention or not.
I am also reminded that in order to show up how I want to —in a present, fun, loving way — I must take care of myself first. For me, this includes meditating most mornings and exercising. Whether it’s a 5 minute meditation and 20 minute walk or a 15 minute meditation and a 30 minute run, I do what I can.
I do what I can because I experience how it serves me — especially in those moments when my own emotional dysregulation pulls me away. It’s in those times that I find it easier to choose to return to connection and presence and slow the flip down.
If it resonates with you, I invite you to reflect — “in what ways are my child(ren) nudging me to slow down? Is there something I can add to my routine that may help me stay present, even when challenges are pulling me in different directions?”
And, if you feel called to share with me, I’d love to hear your insights. :)
With gratitude,
Emily
